Good Night

I am not the first person to gaze upon the idea of happiness, nor do I expect my thoughts to be original or profound. I sit here, unable to sleep, publishing my thoughts to the vast universe of the internet hoping that, by making concrete that which I cannot understand, I can somehow put together enough of the pieces to give myself contentment.

At what point does one consider himself happy? Does he wake up one morning with the realization that everything has finally come together, or does it take a lifetime of small accomplishments spaced out over the years of trial and error to look back and see how much better things have become?

Perpetually, it seems there is another mountain to conquer. One thing blocks my advances at happiness, and once it is defeated, another takes its place.

Is there some divine power which seeks to keep us in check by forever standing in our way, or is it more simple than that? Perhaps conquering one goal allows us to see that which was hidden by the others.

I am in this place where I can see the end of my long road of obstacles, but fear the traps which are set for me across the finish line. Still I advance toward it, not knowing how far away it may be.

I feel like one of the Jews, following Moses through the desert. The hope of moving away from that which has kept me down has blinded me from the dangers of the road to absolution. The promised land is out there. Moses found it in just 40 years.

Good Night