drama

I know it sounds terrible to say this... but part of me wishes she had just killed herself. She knew exactly what she was doing. She shouldn't get the satisfaction of seeing people feel sorry for her after all this. Now we all have to deal with her drama. If people want to feel sorry for her, they can. She won't get it from me. 

A bad night.

Tonight, Mom overdosed on Alcohol and Pills. Adam Just had her admitted to the ER. I don't know the whole story as of right now but, from what I've heard, she attacked Stephen and then locked herself in the bathroom to hide from Adam. She was in bed all day and no one knew why. Actually, no one really knew where she was most of the day.

I don't know how many issues were going on with her recently. Adam says it has a lot to do with her problems with Stephen. He says he found out a lot more details than he wanted to but didn't share any of them with me. Also, she has been taking care of Grammy and Cathy. Grammy is losing her mind to dementia and Cathy is realizing that she can control Grammy. Patt is trying to keep everything in order but it's a lot to deal with. I guess one of Stephen's cousins is supposed to be dealing with all this and Patt and Stephen keep saying that it's not their problem anymore... but Grammy lives in their back yard; it will always be their problem and neither of them are the types of people who can look the other way.

All this is on top of the fact that we just got in to an argument about what song to dance to at our wedding. After a brief argument over Facebook Chat yesterday, she left me this message this morning:

"we both have enough stuff to do before your big day. There is no use doing a "show" of something that you don't feel. It won't be a sit down reception anyway, so let's just do away with all this nonsense and I won't look the fool we both know me to be. No song, no dance, now move on to something important."

I don't know what the real issue is with her. I know she's been under more and more stress for different reasons recently. Money has been an issue recently and every time they try to talk about it, they fight. Money always seems to be the issue. People are just too proud to admit that they have a problem. They like to live comfortably and share what they have with their family and friends but I can only assume they've been sharing more than they've had recently.

I found this post on her facebook from April 9th.
https://www.facebook.com/patt.bothel/posts/10200145897589003

Adam says she's going to be fine. She needs to spend the night in the hospital and talk to a therapist in the morning before they'll release her. 

Cassy is really upset about this whole thing. Partially because she cares a lot about my mom and partially because it brings her back to a place she tries not to remember. She has handled her mother's death very well in the time that I've known her but things like this remind her of it. It might be egotistical for me to assume that a lot of her trouble tonight is worrying about the rest of us: Adam, Amanda, Jack, and Me. Cassy is a worrier. She tries to solve problems and she mentioned tonight that the worst part about all this is how helpless she feels. 

We'll see what happens tomorrow. I let my boss know that something is going on and I might need some time off. I hope it doesn't come to that.

Goodnight
Nick